Sunday, March 18, 2007

sunsets

not remembering
who, months & months ago
recommended "eat, pray, love"
by Elizabeth Gilbert
(my bet is Jen or Becca)
but third time was a charm,
bought it on my way out of Phoenix
and tonight sat & read about her depression,
tears rolling down my face
remembering with freshness and awe
what we can endure
the miracle, really,
of surviving something
something so damn out of our control
so painful and crushing
(for friends & family to witness, too)
but then having SURVIVED
I am alive,
I'm beyond alive
I'm WELL
balanced, whole

In fact I feel stronger than I've ever felt
and the next phase, the next horizon
is really about ice cream!
sparkling majestic sunsets
new shoes
community, partnerships
laughing so hard my belly hurts
feeling juicy & alive...
that is to say...
all that which brings me JOY

because there's a certain
ordinariness
to being balanced
to being well and whole
to being mellow and GOOD

there's the absence of MOOD SWINGS
the absence of manic hyper me
(which actually is very fun for me)

I know this was the goal
but just up over that hill
me wants some more pomegrantes
more adventure
trying something new
exploring the unknown
[strangely this is feeling like
a one-way sign to the Partnership course]

~

And so I will leave you with this beautiful prose Elizabeth wrote to herself one dark night in Rome...

"I'm here. I love you... I will stay with you. I will love you through that... there's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."

2 comments:

  1. Just realized something HUGE when I looked at my site this morning. I was talking to Dana while on vacation about the powerful exercise through Landmark about "being with" yourself in the mirror (from the ILP). You settle in quietly and gaze into your eyes. It's a practice which helps you drop into the presence of yourself, everything falling away.

    In my weekly Group, my therapist Reesa continually returns us all to "connecting with ourselves". When I opened up my site and saw my wonder woman face peering back at me it was like a click a-ha. That is what this site is for me, it connects me back to myself. Is this a obvious DUH or is this a miraculous revelation?

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  2. Neither. It's a miraculous DUH.

    Loving you,

    J

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