who, months & months ago
recommended "eat, pray, love"
by Elizabeth Gilbert
(my bet is Jen or Becca)
but third time was a charm,
bought it on my way out of Phoenix
and tonight sat & read about her depression,
tears rolling down my face
remembering with freshness and awe
what we can endure
the miracle, really,
of surviving something
something so damn out of our control
so painful and crushing
(for friends & family to witness, too)
but then having SURVIVED
I am alive,
I'm beyond alive
In fact I feel stronger than I've ever felt
and the next phase, the next horizon
is really about ice cream!
sparkling majestic sunsets
laughing so hard my belly hurts
feeling juicy & alive...
that is to say...
all that which brings me JOY
because there's a certain
to being balanced
to being well and whole
to being mellow and GOOD
there's the absence of MOOD SWINGS
the absence of manic hyper me
(which actually is very fun for me)
I know this was the goal
but just up over that hill
me wants some more pomegrantes
trying something new
exploring the unknown
[strangely this is feeling like
a one-way sign to the Partnership course]
And so I will leave you with this beautiful prose Elizabeth wrote to herself one dark night in Rome...
"I'm here. I love you... I will stay with you. I will love you through that... there's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."