3 hours four minutes & 20 seconds (10.87 pace)
At least I ran half a mile more than last week... I was shocked at how much easier this run was today. I went very very slow almost the whole time (but apparently at a faster pace than last week) and between 1:15 and 2 hours I felt like I could run forever. The last hour was brutal but I just kept focusing on the spring in my legs. I've also been starting to visualize the race itself, and tell myself that at hour 3 I'm 60% through the race (more than halfway!). I still cannot believe that I'm doing this. Last night I laid awake with the worst nervous stomach yet. It was so annoying. The pisser is, weekend after weekend, setting my alarm (I am *NOT* an alarm-setter) to 5:30, eating my banana, drinking my water, journaling and trying to hit the trail by 6:30am. The rest of my day is a bit of a daze, between water, eating and laying around the day is shot.
What I've been working with is two patterns I've seen:
When the running feels hard, I everything else in my life that seems hard floods my head, and it makes it all even more painful and hard! Today I listened for the first hour to a meditation cd that I love and then EMDR for the second hour (classical music, sounds of a stream, really beautiful). It seemed to alter things. The other thing is even though I'm not a "quitter" per se, I'm most certainly not a "push through-er" either. So I sit in this in between place (like this morning I was like no I'm just going to blow this run off, I'll do it next week or Monday)... but in the end, it looks like I'm gonna do this thing so I must be closer to a push through-er after all.