Thursday, July 09, 2009

Oh, it's On Mr. Big, it's On!

I am in love with this saying. "It's on!". Yesterday, after seeing the movie "My Sister's Keeper" (where the sister is dying from leukemia, I came out a sobbing wreck and pondered my life. You know, because it's so rare that I really felt it was necessary.

I went to that "what the hell am I doing with my life and when am I going to do something BIG?".

I always wonder if anyone else out there is as obssessed with this question as I am. Being that the enneagram type 4 is in the self-image triad, and their primary concern is identity, I shouldn't be surprised. One thing about the enneagram is that it's all about how the Ego rules us. So I have to keep remembering that I am not my Identity. I am Helen, au naturel. I'm just me and I don't have to do something Big in my life.

And yet. As I've been exploring this whole thing on faith and spirituality, I realized yesterday that it's really not about my Ego feeling that I'm accomplished or a super star, it's truly about doing something good for the world. This is about me saying, how can I be fully used by the world for a higher purpose? Someday I hope that I start to see this actually happening more clearly. Yeah, yeah, I know that this is a path and a journey and that everything all works out. I know that I'm weaving the tapestry but I'm not seeing the pattern yet.

So, with the encouragement of Niki saying take one action now, I finally went to the bookstore and in 5 minutes found books on how to dress for your body type and what color palette look best on you. I was seriously shocked. Part of my life coaching is about making sure you look beautiful and that what you wearing (fabrics, shapes, colors), enhance your personal beauty. I know there is actually a science to that and these books rock at illustrating that. So onward I go!

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous8:58 PM

    My dear daughter Helen,

    Lately I have seen that you are on an accelerated quest to find out your true self. Now I know that in the past I have told you of my own journey to self realization. I really didn't know what this meant until I took up the meditation on the Maha Mantra. This takes about two hours daily and is best done in the mangala hours before sunrise. This is when most of the universe is sleeping, at least in your time zone.

    After spending the time, just like working out in a gym, I began to get answers to the questions on my mind as well as many things I didn't know I wanted to know.

    As with any path, you can't know how it will work until you apply it to your life. 108 beads times 16 rounds everyday till you get a break through!
    Love Dad