And so it begins
And then it continues!
Wow. Wow. Wow. I just saw the movie "Julie on Julia". This movie is about a former writer who feels stuck in life. She works in a gloomy cubicle as a customer service rep for an insurance company and is bored and frustrated. A call from an angry customer says it all. He asks "do you have any power?" and stunned, she says no. That night she is ranting to her husband that she needs to do something more with her life but doesn't know what that is. As they are ripping into the bruschetta asking what she loves, he says you love to cook! She rolls her eyes, then it starts to sink it. This is 2002 so blogs weren't the hip (it's all about me) thing everyone is doing these days, but at her husband's suggestion she decides to cook her way through Julia Child's cookbook, giving herself a deadline of one year to cook 500 some recipes. All I can say is GO see it.
How does this relate to me? On January 29, 2009, as you know, I finally gave in to my lifelong wish to write a book. The biggest block to that goal was questioning if anyone but my closest friends and family would care about my life, my struggles, my victories. The good news is I'm not blocked to write. The words simply flow out of me, often gushing so fast I can hardly keep up with the wave. I don't sit in front of the screen stopped by what to say. I'm also not blocked by thinking I'm not good a good writer. I don't judge myself and I tend not to have a self-critic about the quality of my writing. I ride the wave and usually look back saying "wow, I'm a killer surfer". But as I focus on putting all of my writing into one book, I do care if the whole story of my life matters to people. Is it inspiring? Is it interesting? Do they read it and think god, this girl is so self-obsessed? It's tricky.
After seeing this movie last night the fire was lit again. I realized that I just have to do this. I have to keep writing. A good friend of mine is feeling out her love and passion for photography. The more pictures she takes, the more she realizes her natural talent. She sees her style emerging and it's clear that not only is she good, she is great! I was shuffling through some of her recent shots and saw that it takes hundreds of shots and angles to find that one that one shot that makes you say wow. It's practice, practice and more practice.
So I'm just going to keep going here, finding my way, trusting my story and believing in myself. There's three people in particular that keep encouraging me, and I need you to know how much it matters to me! Thank you for your generosity and your adamance that I do this.