Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Abundance & beyond


Once again, the lesson of trusting "manifestation" has shown its lovely self. At the beginning of this year one of my major wishes was to be shown, without doubt, that life will give me what it is I need and want. Show me that I could stand in awe and witness miracles arriving, without effort, without feeling the need to give in order to receive; to sit still and BE, to practice listening and being Feminine by letting go of worry, letting go of fear, letting go of our culture's conversation of push to do more, push to have more, push push push and work harder. I set out to re-define success, to create a new reality, a new way of living. I wanted to relax and breathe more deeply, to have slowness be the pace of my life, rather than looking at my goals with an anxious nervousness.

I could list out all the things that have unfolded perfectly, things that have seemingly plopped into my life out of nowhere, without me taking all the right "steps", all the right actions to get to that goal. But I want to share something so perfect and so big that even I am shocked!
At the beginning of August, I made a motivational woo woo sign to post at my desk, with these forecasted sales (forecast = committed = I must hit these numbers) :

August $125k
September $175k
October $ 75k
TOTAL Q4 = $375k

Then I wrote a ridiculously high goal of $600k, which is the amount to make up YTD and hit 100% of my quote. I almost laughed out loud at the $600k because given the economy it seemed beyond likely. August shaped up poorly. I booked $12k and entered September pretty much sick to my stomach with worry and panic. Despite that, every day I would re-calibrate and do my best to trust anything and everything that happened. I worked on receiving without effort, and allowed myself the things every day that help me stay relaxed, including short naps after lunch, exercise during the workday and then most importantly, a 20 minute meditation CD usually in the late afternoon.

Most people are usually shocked by my actual work schedule, but I've found that working from home is about maintaining a steady energy. It's about the gift of being able to pace my day in a way that gives me the most power. It's not about getting my 40 hours in. And, in fact, I work far less than would be expected if I were counting by hours of butt in the chair. When I try and describe this to people some scoff and say wow, what a lucky gig, and others really get what I'm trying to create. Does this mean I don't feel lucky? No. Does this mean I don't feel immense gratitude? No. I feel quite the opposite. I can't believe my life, pretty much every morning. And I mostly feel an awesome sense of grace and blessings. I thank that Spirit of the Universe, the flow, God, etc.

So, in September, things really started rolling and day after day orders came in. I kept hearing that cha-ching cash register sound. I ended up booking $483k that month. Add that to August bookings and I had $495k in Q4. This meant I was already past my bottom line goal of $375k! So after the ego strokes from my team and boss, not to mention the massage and Wii that I won, I rolled into October feeling kind of cocky and pretty lazy. However, the clock always resets at the beginning of the month and I started getting those calls from my manager, "how much are you committing to sell this month?"! Because I had promised to sell $75k in October, the last month and even Q4 to-date didn't matter.

I needed some more inspiration so I made another sign for October. Again, my sign had ridiculous goals. My bottom line was $100k. By the second to last week I had booked $40k, and I had three deals with would easily equal $100k. But, one two three, by the second to last day of the October all three deals had fallen through. That morning, after getting the final news, I burst into tears and threw myself on the bed, dejected and mad at my stupid sign. My mind said whatever, it is all luck. And I fucked up. I didn't work hard enough. This whole not working hard, not stressing, is just stupid. But again I forced myself to stop those negative thoughts and plugged myself in to my Millionaire Mind hypnosis CD.

Afterwards I walked back to my desk. And... there was a PO for $55k. Um, what? I looked at the PO several times because it had other hardware line items on it, just to make sure. And, because I like to suffer so much, I called Morgan and cried to her that all three of my (other) deals had fallen through. At the end of the conversation I slipped in that this other $55k PO had come in. She ever so kindly slapped me around and said DUH, celebrate!

After processing that, I felt kind of giddy and hopeful, so I called deal #1/3 and shockingly got the woman on the phone (for two weeks she hadn't returned my calls). I chatted her up a bit (she ends up telling me how she had lost 70 pounds in the past two years and does 150 *butt squeezes* during her morning commute), and then she put me on hold for a long time. She came back to say her Contracting Officer (final purchase approver), had been out with the flu. So she pulled the PO from the bottom to the top of his stack. And bam, within two hours, that deal came in. Feeling even more hopeful, I called deal #2/3 and the Partner says, it's so strange you called, I'm shocked to say this but I just got that PO! By the end of the next day, October 30th, the last day of the month, the last day of our fiscal year, deal #3/3 had come in. And that meant I booked $220k (see my sign and see the ridiculous stretch goal was $240k).

All told, Q4, I booked $627k. Notice my original sign says huge and silly goal of booking $600k for the Quarter. Yep. I'm still surprised. Gooooooo woo woo! Go intention! Go miracles!

So what do you want to manifest? Make a silly sign! Make yourself practice STOPPING your thoughts that don't believe, do what you need to do to relax and breathe deeply, and then watch it all come true...

2 comments:

  1. Aunt Nini11:28 AM

    Sounds like you learned the lesson of "follow up"! I'm proud of you!

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  2. Anonymous7:29 PM

    love your signs! I am definitely inspired to create some dream board, intention design, something... Very excited and happy for you!
    Becca

    ReplyDelete