Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Work it, own it!

As we are wrapping up this year (how did that happen?!), I started to make a list of everything I've completed this year. Lots of adventures! I was looking over 2009 intentions and think wow, what a big list. Although a lot of them worked out or made some progress, once again I trust that everything that happened this year was totally perfect. And even moreso, the success and goodness that came to my life this year was far more fulfilling than checking everything off that list. Everything feels wrapped up into a package of a certain growth spurt. I'm learning creating a new imprint in my psyche about creating what I want -> watching it unfold -> and owning and celebrating that I DID THAT, I was responsible for the great things that happened.

* Creating intention and manifesting that which I envision

I think I've made a lot of progress on this point. I continue to write down simple things I want, often very big things, and bam they show up. Effortlessly. Miraculously. Simply. It's such a different way to live in this new and sometimes uncomfortable paradigm. It confronts the American "success" model that "you work more you'll have more". This is not to say we shouldn't work! Of course we need to take the actions, move something forward, to meet the milestones. But as I release my grip on the objection and fear of how is it going to happen... that's the magic! To let go of control, to give up worrying, plop plop fizz fizz. It's very clear to me now that trusting and having faith is absolutely a CHOICE. I can choose to worry, I can choose to fret, I can choose to spin thoughts in my head about how things won't work out. And it's my choice to put a big red STOP sign in front of those thoughts, a choice to stand up and push away from my desk when I'm hyperventilating, a choice to put on my earphones and listen to my 20 minute meditation CD; a choice to be free!

* CELEBRATING and owning that the miracles in my life aren't luck, they happen because I'm powerful and I asked for them
I was having coffee with Kate this morning and she said something like "instead of feeling lucky that you accomplished that". Uh, yeah! After rising up the ladder all these years in corporate America, after successfully navigating this new sales career for two years (in fact check it out - won sales rep of Q4 which is our biggest quarter), my feet mostly don't feel like they're in the ground and my body doesn't know that everything is going to be okay. Yet "proof" of my success can be found in my bank balance, in the accolades I receive at work, the incredible abundance of my rock star friends, and most importantly in my calendar (ability to 100% create every minute of my workday to include plenty of time to exercise, participating and leading coaching programs and courses, time to make healthy meals, sleeping deeply, etc.). I surely don't actually believe that I had something to do with that. I feel too lucky to have this good of a life. People tell me they wish they had my schedule. I get it, it is amazing! I've written about this before, feeling so blessed to work from home.

But I'll stop myself here and say this - I've talked to many of my work-from-home counterparts and they don't choose to work the same way I do. They're up and working at 6:30am, I see them send emails at 10pm and yet we have the exact same job. They're in that mode that they have to work longer and proove themselves and be the very best at everything to "make it" at their job. And that's fine. Are they more technically savvy than me? Absolutely. Do they usually have the answers when I forgot that memo sent three years ago about that box we have to check in our sales software when a lead is sent to the wrong rep. Absolutely. Do I want to be the A student that they are? Hell no! Thank God for people like you!

Now for the last part of this... it's the spiritual part. I have gotten some whacky things this year that certainly *weren't* on my list, some yucky, some great; some things were so surprising and yet so appealing that I just went with them instead of resisting. As I look back and as I look forward, I'm clear that I need to trust everything. My friend Shaya has taught me this, being the Buddhist geek that she is! She's always saying "allow everything that wants to happen". It's very foreign to me to accept and soften to what's happening even when it's bullshit or looks like things are falling apart. I continue to get through them and the world doesn't fall apart. In fact, sometimes the skies part and there's something beautiful there to be touched, a new feeling of relief and joy.

And so it goes...

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