Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Careful what I ask for!


I love this picture! It really is where I'm at right now. I've been having nightmares for weeks and waking up at night with stress about work. I'm pretty much in the hot seat because I was at 36% quota last month. My boss literally said I was a weak link on the team! I'm doing the best I can but it's quite hard digging myself out of the hole. Anyway, for the past two months I've been asking for something to kick me in the pants and really get fired up to work. This morning I realized that indeed my request was granted, but not in a desirable form!! The answer is my boss has been all over me, instant messaging and calling me ALL DAY LONG. One of the things I love about my job is it's super autonomous and basically I catch up with him about once a week. However, as my updates have been lukewarm and we both realize there's two months left in the government's fiscal year, we gotta get on it. I decided to ask for help and support yesterday, in the form of him helping me call customers on quotes that have been hanging out there for months. Oh god it's NOT FUN. I like my boss a bunch but he's also been in sales for ten years more than me, and it's rough to get criticism about what I'm not doing right. I don't get enough information in the first place, these deals are too old, etc.

All I can do now is swallow my pride, keep swimming and work on the way I am reacting to my so-called poor performance. I'm trying to remember that I am not my results. I am Spirit, I am goodness, always and forever. No matter how big I "fail", I'm always intact. I have my values, my energy, my health and my talents. More importantly, I have my life path and passion, and I know exactly what I'm meant to do in my life. The knowledge is so precious and I want to congratulate myself on having found that answer. I searched for so so long to identify my passion. How great that I finally know, without a doubt. And it is unfolding, I have to remember that. The more I lean into working with women and helping them claim their power, the more I recognize that I'm damn good at that!

2 comments:

  1. We use that picture in one of our presentations on stress here in school, today it totally FLOPPED -so it's so funny to hear what resonates with one doesn't with another. Which I guess is hard to hear, esp with what you are talking about here . I had that experience last night getting real honest feedback from a client and it felt outchy, which is our human ego and pride, and it doesn't feel good - and you rock and you need to know it as you are growing other areas of your life right now too. There have also been times I'll remind you that you have ROCKED at your job, ebb and flow my dear!

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  2. You'll be just fine and it's good to ask for help, he will now know what you are up against
    head up

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